


I'll Make It Okay

by Im_Here_And_My_Ships_Are_Queer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Cop Benny, Cop Castiel, John Winchester sucks, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Prostitute Dean, Selectively Mute Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_Here_And_My_Ships_Are_Queer/pseuds/Im_Here_And_My_Ships_Are_Queer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Winchester is a terrible human being.</p><p>Dean Winchester is just trying to take care of his brother.</p><p>Sam Winchester didn't even realize everything that was happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam’s crying again. John still isn’t back. There isn’t any food in the kitchen. The boys have run out of clean clothes to wear. The shampoo bottle is empty. John had left $100 on the table when he left two weeks ago. It’s gone now. Dean hasn’t eaten in three days or showered in four and he’s walked around without underwear since Thursday. It’s Saturday now. 

Sam’s crying because he lost his favorite toy. He’s been fed, clothed and cleaned by everything Dean stopped using when he realized they were getting low. In Sam’s world, the missing toy is the biggest problem they face. Dean knows better.

Dean’s eleven and doesn’t go to school anymore because Sam’s father stopped signing him up when they rolled into a new town. Dean stopped calling the man his dad a while ago. He signs Sammy up for school, leaves money to feed Sammy, shows Sammy affection when he gets back, and the only time he talks to Dean is to tell him to take care of Sam or to yell at him for failing to do so. 

Dean doesn’t care. He hasn’t for a long time. He stopped speaking when Mary died and stopped giving a shit about himself the first time that John told him “You are a little peice of shit. You know that, right? You don’t talk to Sammy. You do what he needs and nothing else. You don’t get the privilege of being his big brother. You’re just the boy who takes care of him when I leave. Got that? I don’t care what you have to do as long as he’s alright” one night when he came home drunk and beat Dean black and blue for telling Sam that he didn’t know when or if the man was coming back. 

The boy hasn’t started talking or caring about himself since that night. He digs through the hotel room to find Sam’s toy and returns it to the crying child before going back through the room and cleaning. The younger boy stopped crying and watched Dean move about before asking, “Why don’t you talk to me, Dean? Or Dad? Or anyone else? Why don’t you talk at all?”

The green eyed boy started to sign his answer before he remembered that John had told sam not to pay attention to Dean’s “Stupid hand motion nonsense” because “If he has something important to say, he’ll fucking talk”. So he grabbed a pen and paper to write out his response:

I couldn’t talk after the fire.   
Didn’t have the words.  
After that, I just can’t make myself talk again.  
No one needs to listen to me anyway.

Sam frowned before saying, “I’ll listen to you Dean. You can talk to me.”  
Dean shook his head and wrote:

I can’t sam.  
If I talk to you, John will want me to talk to everyone.  
I can’t do that. I can’t talk to John.

The younger boy doesn’t understand, not really, but he says “Okay” anyway. 

John came back that night. Dean caught hell for not having food or clean clothes or shampoo in the hotel room for Sam. Sam was asleep during this. He always was. The only person, other than Dean, that knows Dean is John’s personal punching bag is John. The boy’s ‘Uncle’ Bobby had a good idea what was going on but he didn’t have real proof and it was John’s word against his nonverbal son’s.


	2. Chapter 2

The next three years where the exact same.

John left $100 and left for however long he wanted. Dean barely ate, showered or wore clean clothes. The boy didn’t ever go to school. Never made friends anywhere. Still didn’t talk or care about anything but Sam. The only times he left the hotel rooms were to walk Sam from place to place. Sam grew and made friends and got out in the sun. Dean was a sickly shade of gray from his lack of -well, everything. The boy never bought clothes for himself. Just hoped that the things Sam outgrew weren’t too small on him. Sam was nine and Dean was fourteen but Sam was almost as tall as Dean.

Dean came up with a plan to be able to take better care of his brother. What if I sell myself? I’d have to do it while Sam’s asleep, sure, but it could be done. If I clean up, I’m not that bad looking. No one should be able to tell exactly just how Pale I am during the night. I’ll do it for Sam.


	3. Chapter 3

That’s how Dean got through the next three years. He became a prostitute in whatever town they showed up in. Spent every night working the streets and every day Sam was at school, Dean was asleep. 

Sam never asked how they seemed to have more money, didn’t even seem to notice. John still found things to be pissed off about. Dean didn’t talk to anyone but his clients and that was only because he had to and would probably never see them again, so it didn’t matter if he talked to them. He still couldn’t talk to Sam, though. If he talked to Sam, then John would find out, and that wouldn’t be good for Dean.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean is seventeen. Officially. Tonight is his birthday and he’s out on the streets working. He hasn’t celebrated his own birthday in a few years, so he figures that it doesn’t matter. He just keeps track of how old he is so that when he’s eighteen he won’t have to lie to clients.

Sam’s at a sleepover with some kid named Jack or something. John isn’t expected back for a while since he just left five days ago. It’s cold as shit. Dean doesn’t have a jacket. His jeans have too many holes to keep any heat. The shirt he’s wearing is so thin, he almost prefers to not be wearing it. He’s shivering so bad that he can’t look attractive. The poor boy hasn’t eaten in at least four days, at this point he can’t really be sure. And he hasn’t gotten sleep since Thursday while Sam was at school, it is now Saturday night. 

Dean’s headed back to the hotel room when a cop car pulls up next to him and starts rolling to match his speed. He stops and turns to the car when the passenger window rolls down and a man with a southern accent asks, “Are you alright, kid?” 

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, Officer. Just going back home from my friends house.”

“At this time of night?”

“I was supposed to spend the night, but we were playing videogames and he got real mad, started telling me to go home. So, I started walking. I’ll be fine.”

“Listen. I can tell you’re lying. But you don’t seem like a bad kid. Why don’t you get in the car and we’ll drive you to your house?”

“Um… You’re not gonna let me say no, are you?”

“No I’m not.”

Dean just sighs and says “fine” before he starts walking to the car. He doesn’t make it to the car. His stomach grumbles and he’s wracked with more shivers at the same time, making his head throb. Dean crumples to the ground and groans in pain, unable to get up. His stomach aches, and his head is killing him, he’s freezing, and he still isn’t 100% from the beating John gave him last time he was there. The officers in the car jump out to help him into the car and drive him to a hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean wakes up in a hospital room. The two cops are there listening to a doctor list dean’s problems.

“The boy obviously hasn’t eaten in days, maybe a week. He has bruises that look like abuse. Sleep deprivation. Lack of vitamin D. He was freezing when you brought him in. Malnutrition. The list goes on. Wherever that kid was headed… I’m glad you boys picked him up first.”

Nobody had realized Dean was awake to hear all that. He chuckles and says, “‘s prob’ly bad, but it wasn’ tha wors’ birt’day ‘ve had” before whatever meds they’ve got him on catches up with him and he goes back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The next time dean wakes up, there’s only one person in the room. It’s the southern cop he talked to the night they picked him up. He notices the minute that dean is awake because he’d been staring at the sleeping boy. 

“What’s your name kid? I’m Benny and my partner is Castiel.” 

Dean shakes his head, “I don’t have a name. Not anymore. My brother still thinks I do, but he’s the only one.”  
“What’s your brothers name.”

“I can’t tell you. I don’t deserve to call him my brother so I can’t tell you.”

“Who said you don’t deserve your brother, Kid?”

“John.”

“Who’s John?”

“My brothers dad. He used to be mine too, but not anymore.” Dean doesn’t know why he’s telling this man almost everything he wants to know. He hasn’t talked, really talked, to anyone in so long that now that he’s started talking he doesn’t think he could stop the truth from coming out if he wanted to.

Benny nodded and said “It’s alright, Kid. You’ll be okay. Me ‘n Cas’ll make sure of it.” in a soothing voice. The other cop walked in and looked at them both before saying, “the doctors said he could be released today but Meg said that if we’re returning him back to wherever he came from then she’d kick our asses.”

Dean looks at Benny confused and asks, “Who’s Meg? Why is she worried about me? ... if I’m not going back home, then where am I going?”

Castiel responds, “Meg is a friend of ours who happens to be a nurse here. She was the first person that checked on you when we brought here from the street and she’s grown fond of you over the past three days-”

Dean cuts him off, “three days?! I can’t’ve stayed here for three days! My brother needs me!! What if John gets back and I’m not there? I haven’t been taking care of Sammy if I’ve been here! John’s gonna kill me! Legitimately, kill me!! I am dead! How fucking dare you keep me here for three days?! You shouldn’t have picked my sorry ass up!! Sam doesn’t know where I am!! He could have gone looking for me and ended up dead!! Goddamn it!!” the boy gets out of the hospital bed and doesn’t pause for anything. They took the ivs out sometime while he was asleep. He makes it to the hallway before the officers catch up to him.

“Kid, listen. We can go pick up your brother but we aren’t letting you go back to what seems like hell to be in.”

“...We can pick up Sammy? No more john?”

“No more John. Sound good?” 

Dean nods and follows them to their car then tells them how to get to the hotel.

Once they pull up, Dean notices the impala and can’t breathe.

“John’s here. He came back. Sam’s in there and John here and I’m not in there.”

Castiel asks what room they’re in and both cops go to knock on the door once deans says “B07”


	7. Chapter 7

Sam came back from Jimmy’s house and Dean wasn’t in the hotel room. There was no note. Dean always left a note if he went shopping.

The thirteen year old panicked and called his father telling him that Dean was missing.

John got to the hotel he’d left the boys at in three hours by sheer force of anger. He didn’t give a fuck that Dean was missing. He was pissed the fuck off because Dean left Sam alone. 

Over the next few days, everyone that John had ever been friends with was alerted to his missing kid, told to call him if they found anything, also told that if anyone called the cops to look for the peice of shit then he’d personally kill them. 

It was on the third day that two Officers knocked on the hotel room door. The taller of the two said, “Hello sir. I assume you’re John?” 

When John nodded, Castiel smiled and said, “We’ve come to tell you that we found your son on the night of January 24th and he has been taken into our custody due to his obvious abuse. We also have reason to take young Sam with us.”

Sam heard all of this and said, “Dean’s alright? I want to see him.”

John stopped sam on his way out the door and said, “I do not give a shit if you keep that fuck up until the day I die, but I’m not letting you take my son away from me.”

This is when sam loses his shit, “Dean is not a fuck up, you worthless bastard!!!! He’s taken care of me since mom died because you sure as hell didn’t!! You stopped by every few weeks to say hi while Dean fed me, clothed me, and made sure I had everything I needed!!! He hasn’t ever said a single word to me because of you! He stopped talking when mom died and you never let him start again! When he finally had something to say, he couldn’t because he knew he’d have to talk to you then and he didn’t fucking want to!!! I have every note he’s ever written me! Do you know how many of them say he wishes he could talk to me?! But no! He was too afraid because of you!! I’m leaving!”

Benny and Cas lead Sam to the car.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean rolled his window down so he heard everything. Sam doesn’t think I’m worthless. Take that John. 

The second that sam got in the car, Dean chuckled, turned to him and said, “Hey Sammy… Do you know how long I’ve waited to say that? Hey Sammy.” 

Dean’s laughter turned to tears. Sam didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen his brother cry, or heard him talk and no he witnessed both in one day.


	9. Chapter 9

When the boys caseworker asks what they want to do, Dean answers without thinking, “I wanna stay with Cas and Benny”

Sam answers without thinking too, “Foster care”

The caseworker smiles and says “Okay, it’s actually very good that you both want different things. I’m afraid that if you two went to the same place, you’d just revert back to how you both were before. So I’ll contact a foster home I know and see if we can get you somewhere, Sam. And Dean, since you’ve stayed with Castiel and Benny since you got out and you’re close to eighteen anyway, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”


	10. Chapter 10

Benny is the first to suggest that they move. Before Dean, they’d shared the rent for a two bedroom apartment they’d had since they moved out of their parents’ houses. Benny and Cas were best friends since third grade and both ended up at the same job.

Now they had technically ‘adopted’ Dean. But, they’re only ten years older than him. So in Dean’s eyes he just got two cool dudes that had taken action to save him from an asshole and he now lived with them.


	11. Chapter 11

One day, Dean had to ask, “Are you two, like, dating or…?”

Benny almost choked on his cereal and Cas accidentally ran over his foot with the vacuum cleaner. 

“No. No we are not! We’re like brothers, man. That’s gross.”

“Okay. Just asking.”


	12. Chapter 12

Dean invited Sam over for dinner with Cas and Benny on his eighteenth birthday.

“So what’s the special occasion?” Sam asked after they were done with dinner.

Benny looked at dean to make sure he was alright before telling sam that it’s his brother’s birthday.

“Oh shit, Dean. I’m sorry. We just never celebrated so I never thought about it.”

“It’s fine, Sammy.”

Then Sam’s eyes got wide, “It’s been a year! I left to spend the night with Jimmy on your birthday! You almost died that night, Dean! You almost died on your birthday and it was my fault!”

“No Sam. I almost died every birthday that I’ve had since I was eight. And it wasn’t your fault.”

Concerned faces look at Dean from around the table. “What do you mean you almost died every birthday since you were eight?”

“Let’s see.  
-Eighth birthday: I saved money for a cake and when John came back and found out I wasted money on a cake, he kicked me all around the parking lot while you ate my cake in the hotel room.  
-Ninth birthday: I hadn’t eaten in a week and a half and passed out at school. John was called to pick me up. He wasn’t happy so I had to run to the hotel next to the impala instead of riding in it. Would’ve puked but didn’t have anything to puke up.  
-Tenth: John beat me black blue because I fucked up somehow. Told me I was your brother anymore. Then he left me next to the hotel instead of carrying me inside for you to see what he did. I couldn’t get up and he didn’t come get me til you were at school.  
-Eleventh: That’s the year we went to Bobby’s house for a month. John locked me outside and one of Bobby’s stupid guard dogs attacked me.  
-Twelfth: I went to the store for food because we’d run out and on the way back, I got hit by a car. Walked back to the hotel with a broken leg and my own blood all over my shirt.   
-Thirteenth: We had an apartment instead of a hotel. I couldn’t pay the heat bill. You got all the blankets. I got pneumonia.   
-Fourteenth: It was my second week at my new job that I could take with me anywhere. The guy was too rough. Didn’t pay me. Then left me there to bleed out. I’m lucky the cleaning lady came in.  
-Fifteenth: I was out late working and it started snowing. My stupid ass didn’t go back to the hotel. I kept working and almost froze to death, couldn’t feel my fingers for two days.  
-Sixteenth: Hadn’t slept for a few days. Went to work anyway. Passed out in an alley. Almost didn’t wake up.  
-Seventeenth: Hadn’t slept or eaten in a few days. Didn’t have warm clothes. Went to work. Course with my work, you don’t wear warm clothes if you want clients, anyway. 

That’s not even including the times that I’ve almost died not on my birthday. Any questions?”

Castiel was the one to ask, “Were you a prostitute, Dean?”

“Yep, sure was. Had to pay bills and keep John from beating me somehow. If I took care of Sam, he didn’t hit as hard so it wasn’t so bad.”  
Sam was crying. Benny was calling out a man hunt on John Winchester (Up until this point they’d just took the kids away then left the bastard alone. Now Cas, Benny and Sam wanted the man dead). Castiel was hugging Dean and telling him it was okay because halfway through his story, he’d gone into shock from remembering everything at once. 

Dean felt completely done. He’d told them only part of everything and he couldn’t believe that that was his life, that those things had happened to him.

But one thing that Cas was saying got into dean’s mind:

It’ll be okay.  
I’ll make it okay.


End file.
